Yes, we know about this late announcement. Don’t worry. You didn’t miss anything. Origami rain checks are available on request. They’re great to unfold and keep you dry during your next brain storm. Take as many as you like. Use them any time. The parade begins about eleven near the river. The Annual Hobo Daze is all about the transformative experience. You don’t need a clock or calendar for that.
Bring A Present.
Not just any Present.
Your Present. Only.
No Past. No Future.
No ambling, rambling, tangential dissertations, ruminations, bargain basement speculations, posers, wishers, wannabe’s. No bullshitters, poets, lawyers, used car salesmen, day-traders, politicians or other skank-shuckers. We want to see you and your sparkling smiles out on the shimmering Jello Fields.
New This Year
… the debut of the new, first-person-shooter game called Ego Blaster.
You won’t believe you’re still standing after your ego is laying out behind you crying all over your shadow. But don’t get caught with your pants down. Run fast. Your ego has nearly as much life as you do. It keeps after you all your long days. And, only in the few moments after the devastating hit with the Ego-Blaster, can you begin to imagine life without that huckster monkey.
The Ego-Blaster operates on 100% pure imagination. The Optional Jello Launching hardware was built by hobos from NASA and MIT. The Super-Soaker Bazooka Model has been retro-jiggered to fire jello pellets like a paint ball gun. It fires all flavors of name brand Jello, as well as, store brand and generic gelatins.
By the way, Custom Jello mixes are available at the Hobo Confectioners and Libation Tent on the Midway.
The blue-ribbon Custom Jello Mix winner last year was a newcomer with his white raspberry champagne flavored jiggler ammo pellets. Golly, didn’t we shoot the shit out of that?
So, take that chance, my friend. Go for the all options. You can play all day if you get the unsweetened kind. None of that heavy, sticky, coated tongue. And no more embarrassing sugar farts that give away your secret positions. The point of Ego-Blaster, of course, is total surrender, but hiding out just lengthens playing time and adds to one’s enjoyment of this enriching life experience.
But wait, if that’s not enough, play far into the night with Flouro-Jello. Now, through the brilliant, political machinations of the Genetically Modified Food Group, we now have mapped the bio-electric light genome of fireflies and spliced it into unflavored gelatin.
The real happening action will be found out back in the jello fields.
Blast the Past and Shoot the Future with all your friends and family. And wait till they get ahold of YOU!
Where? As that hobo poet Rumi says, “Out past right and wrong, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
While there is no cost for admission we will be scanning for negative elements, ne’er-do-well’s and terrorists.
If you can’t come, call the Hobo Hotline. Order the DVD of our Annual High Noon, Stunt Double Showdown at the Jiggler Corral.
Finally, when people ask,
“What’s up with the Jello?”
I tell them “It’s child’s play.
Sweet and silly.”